Would Wonder Woman care if Super Man hid behind her?
Honestly, in that particular case, I might be a little confused too. They are super heroes imbued with powers of Gods and metaphysical abilities no human has successfully achieved naturally. But, as much as we mortals may want to believe it, I don’t think they have conquered fear or doubt; also known as intuition, reason, and most important, common sense.
I watched the video at least four times and probably woke my room mate up at six in the morning dying of laughter. What exactly is it that is funny? There is a split between my own heightened anxiety and the moments of release reminding me that this is not real: “I get it! They jump out at you!” I also have an advantageous perspective as the viewer of their intimate experience because I am watching it on my computer allowing me to react and process this in the comfort of a safe space and time.
Wait! Wait! I don’t want to suck the fun(ny) out of it. No! I want to address the social contingency that Andy has publicly been held up to, ridiculed for, possibly humiliated and shamed for to really dig at another underlying question: What does it mean to be a Man? What does ‘Wo’ add or take away from that? General signifiers are that a man has a penis, two descended testicles – some cases one, facial hair (maybe)…uh? It’s getting a little blurry here. Some may be thinking, “But Grandma has a mustache!” Or “Aunt Gina has big feet and hairy legs. Is that a bulge in her pants?” And lastly, “Uncle Nicholas, once pronounced Eunuchs by little Henry, has no balls and boobs!” I pray sweet sixteen-year-old Henry wouldn’t know all of that. But hey! Maybe he’s reached that level of puberty and developing some super powers of his own. Hopefully he will use them for good.)
It’s confusing if you don’t accept it (or if you’re just not aware, it’s okay). So just accept it for a moment as if the ideals of Superman and Wonder Woman are wholly attainable.
“One is not born a woman, one becomes one” – Simone de Beauvoir; Philosopher
Genetics and Physiology are not social conditions – I’m melting off my couch with that last statement. Nature v. Nurture, Cloning, Medicine, Genital Mutilation, Genetic Imprinting, GMO’s, Global Warming, Reconstructive Surgery…sigh. The world is complex! (Gattaca and The Matrix are two really great films!) There’s so much happening that affects our bodies and we don’t even know how we will evolve! It’s all matter.
I identify as an Arctic ice cap right now – drowning.
Okay! We’re here in the now! Are you with me? It’s 2013 and we’ve leapt out of the annals of Gender Studies and it’s expansive/expanding history and drawn the multiple lines between Gender Performance and understand that behavior is conditioned and we conform/assimilate/adapt to our social settings, or try our best to, even if it’s just not in, around, or on us so that we can join the pack. When those of us who cannot hit that wall, bang a thousand times begging to be let in, because it’s fucking scary out here on our own, but scarier with your boxes, until we’re exhausted and left to our own vices, and you tell me “man up!” God help me if I don’t have a gun with three bullets on the other side of that wall because if I can’t take it I might as well take me out of it all together (the second and third bullet are to make sure I don’t embarrass myself yet again). [Is this dramatic? I’m physiologically a man. Should I have taken it this far? Haven’t I seen this in the news somewhere except the killer(s) shot at people first?]
Sigh. I’m still here. Some are still performing anilingus. I’m not even touching sexuality! Get out of the passt!
Here’s a mint box.
If the shamed are lucky to find a sub-culture to hide out and roam with, like the The Outsiders, they learn more about their selves within these ostrascized communities and are safe to explore and be whoever and whatever. Maybe they’re brave enough to rebel and say “I don’t give a fuck about you or anyone else!” But then all compassion for humankind is lost (sociopaths) and both are stuck trying to maintain the crumbling walls they have put up. “I’m not allowed. I don’t deserve compassion or forgiveness from others, so why should I give it to you.” This condition shapes hard and cold impersonators.
Nature’s first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf’s a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay. – Robert Frost
This is the largest milestone: Giving to others what you want and finding the balance by gifting it to yourself. Imagine that! Equality. We have evolved as living organisms do and have for centuries. I have conservative views myself and I need to check my own thinking sometimes by asking why I really believe or behave this condition(s). No benefit to being a blockhead when the world is round. (Gumby is the word.)
So, if Superman hid behind Wonder Woman I think Superman might be for equal rights, pro-choice, perhaps maintaining some values of chivalry – “ladies first.” He would single-handedly disavow women as inferior to men. He would believe in Her as an equal. If she really is Wonder Woman, she would know that sometimes Superman gets super scared and it’s okay. If she wants to be Wonder Woman, and no Lois, she must define and know who she is without Superman as Front Man or Go-to-Guy. Wonder Woman would have to meditate and figure out what she really wanted in a partner or love him through his faults because he is Super and her Man holding on to her, not another woman. Isn’t that partnership? Being able to depend on someone when you can’t do it alone. A blended 50/50. Never call him out for not meeting your archaic socially conditioned expectation of what a man was unless you want to strap that conic bra and corset back on so tight all you can do is sit at home, drink tea, and try to not pass out. I hate to break it to you but the times have changed, relationships have changed, roles have shifted, women can be presidents of countries now. They are not in distress tied to railroad tracks unless you are a gold-digger. If so, dig on!
Jokes aside, I understand that having someone support us and play that socially accepted idealized role is appealing because we’ve seen it work over and over again. But why? Is it fear of being alone? That’s valid! But being alone does not stop you from being Great. On the contrary we do need other people, but shouldn’t minimize someone else for being where or who they are on their journey in life. If it’s not what you need or where you want to be, let go. You will be the wiser. Don’t limit your experience or someone else’s based on romance novels, fairytales, or films.
Ironically men too want a Wonder Woman or a Super Man. It doesn’t mean they are the sexiest, strongest, most brave, intelligent person on the face of the earth. There’s a catch! But I’m sure they still have a weakness that you could compliment. And if you are a Wonder Woman, you can show them they have the same qualities with love and nurture.
If we take gender out of it, we just want Super Wonderful People who support who we are now so we can take the world by storm together.
Andy I think that’s your new Super Hero outfit. Pussy Power! Own it.
*As intended this post and all posts are part of a discussion and responses and differing opinions are welcome. There is so much to discuss and from thousands of angles with multiple layers. I can’t put it all here now. Hopefully this is a base to start from with the understanding that there are other cultures (West vs East), beliefs (Religion vs Spirituality), etc. But I want to go there, through, and back around.