I woke up this morning and there was this relapse of being in my head and having doubts about my ability to execute tasks efficiently. I want to make sure everyone gets what they came for and it can be challenging when there is a large group of people with different backgrounds. I can’t help but think of being a prostitute or sex worker, in that I want to make sure you reach a complete state of satisfaction. “I want to be your lover.”
I expressed my concerns and that I was having doubts to my fellow coworkers and boss. What a relief that I shared my feelings. They were heard. And I was reassured that I was in my head. People were genuinely happy with what I have been offering. I compared this opportunity and experience in relations o being handing something so prescious and someone trusting you to take care of it and everyone involved. You’re excited because you get to share in this journey and experience, but also frightened because “can I really do this?”
There comes a point when you have to say it’s mine, I own it, and I am doing this.
It was day two of surfing and I already felt more confident going out into the water. I caught my first wave by myself! Surfing is such a thrill. I scream every time I do it as if I’m riding a roller coaster. I don’t know what I’m feeling except total and utter excitement. I was determined and relentless today. I was in the water a full two hours today and made sure I got one last good wave before I left the water. Perhaps tomorrow I’ll catch a bigger wave and ride longer. I’m really loving learning this new skill.
Full day tomorrow. But it’s all love! Good Night Beautiful.